we here at the gamma gazette love a good controversy. and there has been nothing quite as controversial this month as the cut’s etiquette rules for interacting in modern society. let’s say there were head nods, eye rolls, and blank stares of “…wait, what???” that accompanied a live dramatic reading of this list. politico even tried its hand at the action with a very dc version.
in today’s special edition, we humbly offer some ground rules for our lil ol’ graduate school, an institution that some claim is beyond reform. 👀 given we believe in citizen-centric democracy and participatory governance, we reviewed your rule submissions before putting our list together. some immediately resonated with the gazetteditors while others, well, let’s just say we’d benefit from an on-the-spot briefing (or a quick one-page policy memo) to make your case.
it’s safe to say those cute norms we “collaboratively” developed during orientation when we didn’t know each other from adam just don’t cut the manners mustard these days. based on the speed and depth of responses we received (some of which were diametrically opposed!!) it’s clear you all had stuff you needed to get off your chest.
without further ado, we present the 45 modern rules for etiquette at hks. eat your heart out, emily post.
in the classroom
raise your hand and wait to be called on before you speak. we learned this one in kindergarten, which may have been a long time ago (and longer for some of us than others, as divya frequently likes to reminds us “older adults” in gamma). but it should have stuck. stop being a weirdo, and wait your turn.
if a class has more than 30 students, use the microphone and hold it like a normal person. despite harvard’s $42 million endowment, professor gibbs tells us that this funding is tied up and we still can’t afford microphones built into the classroom environment. alas, for as long as we are living with two floating handheld mics, please wait to receive the mic before you speak. if professors do not require microphones, it’s on the students to advocate to do so. we all just want to hear your comment. really, we do. and please—it has a handle, so hold it there instead by the part that you put in front of your mouth!
know when to give others the space to speak in class. if you’ve spoken three times, you’ve hit your limit. do not pass go and do not collect $200. further monopolizing the debate will send you immediately to the dean’s office (and give everyone else the impression that you think what you have to say is most important).
skip the resume prelude. we can do without hearing about how you single-handedly fixed the refugee crisis in your previous job. just answer the question!
it’s a-okay to correct your professor for mispronouncing a name or misgendering a classmate. by all means, it’s appreciated. if it feels uncomfortable to do so in front of the entire class, a quick pull-aside after class works just as well. you can also reference the person’s name using the correct pronunciation or pronouns in your next comment.
be discrete with phone and laptop use. if you know you aren’t planning on paying attention in class, sit in the back so you aren’t disrupting other people’s learning environment. or at a minimum, turn down the brightness and for god’s sake try not to clack!
you can save a seat in class for a friend. it’s also necessary if your friend has been saving seats for you on the regular.
own your own hot take. don’t say “just to be the devil’s advocate…” as a preface to your comment. it’s alright to offer a dissenting opinion, just be ready to defend it. gossip gamma says intellectual ownership is sexy!
grade grubbing is a little obnoxious. if you barely studied and still got an A or A-, we’re proud of you but your classmates really don’t want to hear about it.
similarly: fighting your CAs/CCs on your grade is forbidden. accept your grade and move on. (they’re only making $20 an hour—plz stop.)
saying the word “right?” after sharing your smarmy opinion with a literal Harvard professor and expert in that topic is condescending. as punishment, the entire class has permission to yell “WRONG” if they feel it is justified.
men, book the meeting room, send the calendar invite, and do other administrivia. professor doğan says hks spacebook data shows women still disproportionately book meeting spaces on campus. we can do much better.
on campus
you can give a five-minute warning if your booked space is occupied. give a gentle heads-up five minutes before your assigned booking time. but please make sure you actually did book that room and didn’t accidentally book it for tomorrow (spacebook’s default) before you aggressively boot someone. (please let this also serve as your permission to feel powerful as you claim your space.)
space squatting is allowed, but be ready to move. sure, hang out in an empty room, but be ready to leave if the rightful booker shows up asking for it. don’t act all surprised when they do and inconvenienced as you are packing up.
forum speakers are here for entertaining your questions, not your opinions. save your monologues for your substack. or your pae. (or submit a guest column to the gazette—we are always taking ideas: hksgamma@gmail.com)
follow the yellow brick wexner entrance. there’s an in, and there’s an out. go in the in, and go out the out.
red couches are for sharing. two people who don’t know each other can both sit on a red couch block at the same time, but neither can be on a call or in a meeting.
match the noise level of the space you enter. if the winter garden is quiet when you enter, don’t be the reason it becomes noisy.
wear a mask if you’re a little sick, and stay home if you’re real sick. even though covid testing is over (our noses are so grateful), no one is trying to get your illness.
take calls and zoom meetings in enclosed spaces. if you cannot find a space, use headphones and attempt to minimize volume. we know hks has limited space that was reduced even further with the opening of the bloomberg space that’s not available to gen pop. that being said, taking a loud call without headphones is not okay.
respect the line at quorum call. there’s only so much shitty beer to go around. leave some for the rest of us waiting patiently in line. this goes for all lines or, as our friends of the queen call them, queues.
do not let trash and recycles overflow. if there is no room for your item in a trash can or recycle bin, find another place to put your item or take the trash out, if possible. this applies to all publicly used bins, most especially the keurig coffee bin in the student lounge. while we’re at it, this applies to your bins at home, too. your roommates are probably mad at you for not taking out your hellofresh box debris, so get on it.
headphones on means leave me alone. if a friend approaches you while you're studying and you’d rather not engage in a full-length conversation, politely tell them that you’re trying to focus. please don’t give them the silent treatment while they try hopelessly to engage.
don’t eat fried fish snacks in the wexner phone booth. mmmkay, this one feels very… specific? we’d love to know the story here…
push in your chairs after you leave. in the classroom, and more importantly in the forum. (this also applies to restaurants.)
double parking your bike is punishable by screams of rage by the person you’ve locked in. sam, please help us out here.
off campus
limit your time studying at flour to one hour. this is hot real estate, and spending hours and hours at any coffee shop (unless you continue to purchase more food or bevs) is not super nice. leave some space for the rest of us to enjoy those sweet, sweet baked goods and parmesan chive scones.
don’t block hallways, doorways, or stairwells for group chats. please chat to the side or in a corner and let people get where they need to go. some of us are trying not to miss the helo or be shamed that “class begins promptly at noon.”
scooters require the same etiquette as bikes. let me know that you’re coming! don’t squeeze through people and run over me! and if you’re an athlete at the college, please don’t barrel over people scootin’ on the wrong side of the bridge.
the metaverse
don’t send school-wide calendar events. we will rsvp with an email or via the sign up link if interested. the more calendar infringement we get, the less likely we are willing to go to or read about your event.
only post about a PIC or student event on whatsapp groups twice. don't spam! on the other side of the coin, ask your friends questions about the status of their lives, including their cute little passion projects.
fighting in a group chat of 100+ people is not okay. take it to dms! and we recommend “courageous conversations” over snarky debate wherever possible.
it’s okay not to be friends with everyone. you don’t need to like everyone in your cohort or program, but you should be cordial. it’s actually very easy not to be an asshole, so there’s no excuse if that’s your default.
the social hour
small acts of kindness go a long way. grad school is a particularly stressful time to be a human being. we’re straddling a very awkward chasm of feeling like a baby in a suit and feeling like a chronically dehydrated 30-year-old in a suit. if you can do something kind for someone else, it will be appreciated.
it is okay to cancel plans up to four hours before. we’re students and things change. who among us has not looked at their to do list for the day and realized they would rather pluck their eyelashes out than hit up a charlie’s happy hour they voluntarily agreed to? canceling 30 minutes before a coffee/lunch/dinner, short of you being hospitalized, is rude.
PAE/SYPA/long-term research projects—just don’t. when it doubt, just don’t. it's not that deep. if someone is asking how you are doing between february and april, it is acceptable to just say “…pae” and then move on.
we are generally supportive of “no school talk” rules at social events, though the best laid plans of mice and gamms often go awry.
don’t say “we should grab coffee sometime!” if you actually want to grab a coffee. take out your phone and find a date and time on the spot.
alternatively:
it’s okay to say, “let's get coffee sometime!” and not actually do it. but don’t be the person who says it all time. or say it to the same person more than twice. we all know you’re not going to get coffee at this point.
be open to friendships outside your cohort! relatedly, don't make people outside your cohort feel uncomfortable because they showed up as a +1 to a mostly in-cohort event or party. these labels are arbitrary! enforcing them as important categories is as weird as undergrads telling sitting u.s. officials or foreign dignitaries that they’re in mather house and concentrating in political emapthy or something.
be brutally honest about what you can commit to. there’s an hks tendency to say yes to everything and then be stretched too thin. maybe it’s the self-selecting harvard crowd or the existential pressures of this place. don’t be this person. do yourself and your friends a favor and don’t say yes or even ‘maybe’ when you mean no.
importantly, this also applies to group work. respect your teams and be honest about what you can realistically contribute well—then deliver on it! relevant general life rule: ask for help if you need it. how you manage your own time says a lot about whether your respect that of others.
don’t show up to someone’s house empty-handed. if someone is hosting and you show up sans contribution, you need to turn around, go home, and think about the mooch that you are. there’s gotta be a bottle of wine or a bag of chips around the house from the last time you hosted that you can bring—circular economies, we love ‘em!
don't shit on consulting. it is a valid way to make a living and pay off this excessively expensive place. until the administration takes seriously the suggestion that a school of government should, idk, want to equip all students with the choice to pursue a career in (often low-paid) public service via comprehensive financial aid, then it’s wise to remember that pursuing the ~more noble~ professions may not be financially feasible for some of your peers.
however, gently poking fun about endless slide decks is acceptable and encouraged.
be inclusive (in other words, be a kind human being). while at school, air on the side of “the more the merrier” when it comes to social events. not everyone will show up and you lessen the risk of making people feel like we’ve returned to eighth grade.
we did receive a submission that took the opposite view, urging us to “stop worrying about adults’ feelings and just invite people you like.” we take umbrage! go to therapy! worry about the feelings of others! expand your circle of concern, which is literally a concept they teach tiny humans! it’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you.
dating within hks is cool! while some gaz readers were personally scandalized by the amount of intra-hks dating that goes on, we here at the gazette disagree. gossip gamma wants more hks love stories. we need MORE scandal, not less! do your part. 🫡
skip class to get lunch with me, it’s not that big of a deal. aggressive, but okay…please reveal yourself OP.
say hi if you know someone or at least give a friendly head nod. be friendly and acknowledge the people that you know! don’t pretend we don’t know each other.
ask your friends how they are doing. ask your friends and classmates how they are doing and when they tell you, listen. give ‘em a lil’ kiss on the nose to remind them that you can’t imagine you didn’t know this person who is now so integral to your life a short two years ago. make out. get married and invite the gazetteditors to your wedding. name your first born gammina or gammathan. what’s stopping you from expanding the gammily into the next generation????????? (mostly just checking that you made it to the end, my friend. <3)